Carmen?

Today, I left my blog open by accident at work... And a few of my colleges glanced over what I had written. I can’t believe how shy I felt! I am never shy. Actually shy and Carmen aren't friends.

At this specific moment I realized, I want two lives.

The Carmen that has been expressed over these blogs is completely different to the Carmen projected in real life. Why is it like this?

In real life, I am quite loud, bubbly and quirky. I always make jokes and find the silliest things funny, and when I laugh the entire office at work hears it. I always try my best to keep my confident happy self out there. I think every human does this. We all put an image out there and transform into a person - not the kind of person we necessarily want to be - but more the person we have to be, due to our circumstances.

I think if anyone at work had to read these blogs they would react in shock and disbelief, I somehow struggle to show my light hearted funny side when I write.

Who is this happy bubbly Carmen I meet every morning in the mirror?
Who is this Carmen I discover on this blog every single day?
Who am I? Who .. Am .. I?

I don't want anyone I know to read these blogs, simply because I do not want them to meet this side of me. Is it odd that I have more trust in strangers out there reading my inner most thoughts than those I am surrounded by?