Changes

I have fallen a bit behind with my blogging....

There have been quite a few interesting things happening in my life the past few days.
In 6 weeks, I am going overseas.

I am not too sure how to feel about it. This might sound a little odd - But now that I know I might be leaving for a short while, everything in my life seems so much more bearable.
Why is it like that?
Is this just the human condition? We can’t stand the lives we have at the present, always hoping for something better, and when that something better arises - we seem quite happy with our lives (afraid of the change) or find endless problems with the new transition.

I used to be quite excitable... especially with a situation like travelling. But now to be quite honest, I am afraid. I am afraid of what I might lose, I am afraid of what I might gain - and realize what I have not had all this time. How do I go back to who I once was?
After traveling...
What will my next step be?
Will I be a changed person?
Will I be flooded with endless regret?

WHAT IF?! WILL I?!

My job now is quite fun. I sit in a fancy advertising studio and have my own desk. If I leave and travel - all that I have worked for will be lost.
Or will it?
I guess it will be written down on my resume' the experience is something that I will always carry with me. Its the uncertainty that gets to me. Every person desires reassurance.

Today, my mother went to an interview, the first in 10 years.
I saw this look in her eyes; she was stressed and doubting herself. She said, “How can I go for an interview with all those massive board members sitting there?"
Her insecurity made me realize how much it can complicate our lives.
It shouldn’t be that hard, you get dressed smartly, put your best face on - and show all the hard work you have made in your life time.
What’s the worst that could happen? They say someone else has filled the position. Clearly the job wasn’t for you, it wasn’t meant to be...
We should push our insecurities aside.

Imagine what a perfect day it would be if we could actually do that? How much more wonderful you would feel about your hair, or eyes. How much more confident you would feel about your work and where you have been. All of this added - where this attitude could lead you...

Bottom line - I think I should travel, push my insecurities aside and somehow not hurt the people I love most by going away for some time.