I love food.
My entire life, I have been a few extra pounds than what I should be. I came out the womb chubby!
I would trade a piece of warm chocolate cake probably over most things in life. Food brings me such joy. When I eat something delicious my entire mind and body react in a happy uncomplicated way.
I eat when I'm happy; I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am with friends, or when I am alone. I eat when I watch a movie, or over celebrations. I eat when I am bored or when I am just plain hungry.
Food is my greatest love - my greatest hang up. I fight with food everyday - you know you want that last piece of cake - - - Carmen! ---- You will get fat, don't do it!
I have always wondered why my obsession is seen as something to be embarrassed about. It is a lot easier to judge someone whom is overweight than the average person... have you ever thought that maybe that person might also have a secret obsession which isn't as obvious as mine?
As women we all have our "fat days" our "ugly days." Lately my eating has been terribly out of control. Stacks of biscuits on the couch at night, Ice - cream with extra caramel, two meaty pies instead of one! Chocolate for breakfast ... One before bed. Gosh, take the equivalent of those days and roll them into the past few months and you will have how I feel.
As much as I love good plate of food, or devouring that amazingly baked muffin, my body has become a prison!
I have never embraced my body, or appreciated any beauty in it. I wouldn’t say I am huge, but technically neither am I the correct BMI. Every single day I lose my motivation & I doubt my will power, discipline and beauty, all of this because I am a little overweight?
Who is in the wrong, me for over indulging? Or the people who make it seem like it is so terribly wrong?
Believe it or not being fat has its advantages. In my teens I learnt quite quickly that I couldn't rely on my devilish looks to get me anywhere, instead, I focused on improving my personality. I aimed at bettering myself as a person, I remained open minded, tried new things and worked hard at being the Carmen others wanted to be around, ridiculous things we do for social acceptance.
This hasn't cured my addiction to food... But it has made me adapt in my own unique and messed up way.
Awesome Mito..Eating a slice of cake as I speak <3
ReplyDeleteNom! Nom Lira! ;) Hope it was yummy!
DeleteSweetie, you are beautiful. Don't let anybody tell you anything else :) I know your fight though, it's like I could have written the words myself, in some ways I have :)
ReplyDeleteI love the last part you wrote, about not getting by on your looks. Maybe the two of us were just ment to be those people that other people want to be around :) And I think thats a fine gift. <3
Such a wonderful response, thank-you... Suppose we share the 'gift', I like seeing it in a positive light like you do!
DeleteI am so touched that you can relate to my blog, and that you have taken the time put to read it too!