Devine

Play this song while reading me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erywPdFfORE

I left, and I felt a part of me crumble. I walked on and tried not too look back…
I felt a part of me die. I tried to be strong, but felt my legs collapsing, my chest caving in, breathing became harder and reflection on what had passed impossible to grasp - I left unprepared.

In this despair, finally everything in my life started making sense.

Moments of my insignificant life flashed in front of my eyes, I realised they actually meant something, because I could share it all with you.
I could be anywhere in the world, experience the most grandeur sites, but if it were not with you, it was lost. Anything means nothing, and beauty is stripped.

My eyes seen through your eyes; the world is brighter, ice-cream even tastes better... life is delightful!
The smallest things mattered - I  became my own self realisation.
I was stripped to my bare flesh and discovered - by you - inch, by inch and trust me, I loved every second of it, I loved exposing my vulnrability.

I went because I had too. But this will not stop me from believing in what we shared, always and forever.

Reflection

I have 2 more weeks left in Norway, and then I will go back home.

I have been feeling very nervous about going home, I need to find a new job and start all over again. My bank balance is low and my heart has a huge variety of mixed emotions, honestly, I don't know which of the two stresses me out more!

Today I went to an elderly lady for a typical Norwegian lunch - cold meat on bread served with a cup of tea.
She spoke about her travels to South Africa a few years ago and her entire face lit up with joy. She could not find one bad thing about South Africa... Nothing at all.
She isn't the only Norwegian I have spoken to about home... I met another Norwegian guy who actually moved down to South Africa and stayed there over a year or so... and even after 5 years he still questions if he did the right thing by moving back to Norway.
I think I know the feeling they have? I had when I first got here after a few weeks too.

Norway has been wonderful though. I have hiked up mountains... Eaten lots of ice cream, travelled up north to Trondheim and even went out on the boat down Mjøsa, but something seems a miss.
I cant quite put my finger on what I don't like about Norway, but in South Africa my passion and hate are quite obvious, and these points are probably shared amongst others who live there.

Where am I getting tho with this blog?
I guess, I am happy, and content. I am so thrilled I got too travel out for 3 months and am pretty damn sad its ending soon, too.
I am also happy I get to go back home... I don't know what adventures lay there and if I will ever get the chance to travel out again to Europe anytime soon.

Denmark

Denmark. You beaut!

I write this blog with lots of love and excitement in my heart.

I travelled to Denmark, I went camping in Sweden, experienced amazing weather and culture. Went to art exhibitions, ate wieners and sour cream... Drank beer, went to Lego land and ventured to all four corners of Denmark.

My adventure began in Copenhagen. This city was more than I could've ever imagined, the city buzzes with life and excitement, people are fashion crazy and there is something exciting to do at every corner. It is the kind if city I would live in! Hordes of cultures and open minds, art and history, I never imagined I could experience such an incredible place at such a young age.
From hovering hobo's to tasty restaurants, the city is always buzzing with some creativity and culture I have been yearning for!

In the centre on Copenhagen is a massive theme park where I found myself eating a huge candyfloss and feeling gutsy by getting on all of the extreme rides. There is no other way to see the city but through the eyes of your inner child!
The diversity in Denmark overwhelmed me, there is something for everyone! Whether you are with a family or alone, you will find something you could easily fall in love with in this city!'

Denmark is pretty! Although Norwegians always mock the nature in Denmark, I somehow found the country to be charming and pretty.
From Copenhagen I went to Lego land, it was as if every single childhood dream I ever dreamt came to life. Water parks and theme rides, Star Wars and hamburgers, candy floss and LEGO! LEGO! LEGO! I felt 12 again!
The journey never ended there, I then went to an extremely famous sand festival, where sand castles towered over me, completing the visit by going to the beach.
Going back to Norway after a week never seemed so exciting by catching a ferry from Ringkoben to Oslo. I went to a Norwegian day spa on ship and ate a huge hamburger on deck where the sun was glaring down on me as the band on stage sang some wonderful summer Norwegian tunes

I could never truly express the excitement of my trip in words, these are moments captures in my heart and relived in my dreams.

Fish Kiss Foot Spa

Hovering Hobo's

Nom! Nom!

I am so blessed.

Cheers South Africa - Howzit Norway!

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Okay - who the hell travels to Norway twice in one year? What the hek could be that great here to make me come back besides huge mountains, fjords and strawberries?

Saying good bye is never easy... It's as if you are asking for the change to enter your life. It is the kind of change you dream and seek of; you are not ready for it, but desire to have it every day. I am in the midst of that change; and within that, I still feel a certain amount of uncertainty and very little satisfaction. The aching I have had in my heart has not gone away since I have left; instead it has grown into something with a massive amount of depth.
How can I expect change, if I cannot change my own ways?

Scott and I at the airport

Weslee and I at the airport - drugged on tranquilizers   - LOL!

So Norway we meet again.

Walking along Mjosa fjord - 10pm at night

It is odd to sleep when the sun is up ‘til midnight... It's odd to walk in the streets after dark without fear of any kind... Odd to feel safe, carefree and 'happy'

Coming back to Norway a second time has made me long for home like I have never before. It must be the language - the ambiance, the smell or weather? Feeling homesick is literally like feeling ill, my tummy is in a constant knot and I feel like I could punch anyone who comes near me! Maybe I feel fury towards the contrast of our lands. I had this conception that people around here have very little knowledge of suffering... Or do they?

Yesterday, I happened to stumble upon a few young Norwegians having a drink in the park. They reminded me of myself a few years ago; the one girl had scars all the way up her arms from mutilating herself... I felt confused, why would someone mutilate themselves in a place where everything seems so simple? My only answer is: the human condition.
Are we ever truly happy in this life - we tend to look for suffering, a reason to punish ourselves. For example drugs are pleasure with terrible consequences - the type of consequences we are fully aware of.

But enough about my yapping on the social observations and comparisons I have made thus far. I would easily say I have had a wonderful time in Norway. People are friendly, much friendlier than what I had expected. They are curious, and each of them has an interesting fact to share in conversation. This must be a Nordic charm that they all have in common.

May + Bjorn Erik

Seeing Kim-Erik and his family again has been delightful. When spending time together it is as if the time had never even passed. They have all been kind and helpful... I wonder if I will have the opportunity to pass the hospitality and love to them too one day.

Norwegian food is delicious, I eat two ice creams at a time, the summer is hot, and Norwegians all take the time to sit outside and soak up the sunshine, they swim and laugh at the simplest things, making everyday a pleasure.

I find it odd that Norwegians are so cautious with everything, when driving, walking or locking up their homes, naturally you would think in the safest part of the world, those things wouldn’t be a concern... Maybe that is why we have problems in South Africa, people are too carefree...

Everything in Norway closes early, and if not closed it is really quiet. There are no real ques leading to tellers, or waiting to be seated at a dinner table.
There are no maids or gardeners around here, and having one is seen to be lazy. We are spoilt in South Africa, all the services that are offered to us in order to enhance job creation for our population. This is unnecessary in Norway since the government give a grant to those whom are unemployed, and the population that are employed earn quite decent salaries.

The Norwegians I have befriended are obsessive over gaming. I am a gamer myself, but because there are so many ways to stimulate ourselves back home, it is not the be all and end all after hours. I find this somewhat frustrating, but if all the stores close early, and you live in a small town, I guess this is all you really need to do?? This is one major reason I could never relocate to Norway.

Something else I find quite odd about Norway is the fashion and trends in store. Many of our merchandise are brilliantly marketed in SA... Millions are spent on selling a product, either they are sold through tons of research or are politically and racially branded. With the rich history of Norway, I would’ve have believed that the marketing would have been cultivated via this stepping stone. Seems I would have been wrong, Norwegians do not linger on the past.

What else about Norway... Hmm. I love how people behind the counters talk to me in Norwegian and I respond in English. Their faces are priceless, maybe its because they cannot identify where I am from with my unusual accent.
Norwegians spend a lot of time together - socially. I struggle with this because I am quite a loner - I am sitting in a room alone typing this while others sit downstairs chatting. I think coming from South Africa, we isolate ourselves more than usual, unless that could only be me? I am aware that I am a little awkward in social situations.

There is quite a sense of equality in Norway, this would be the perfect South Africa, I don’t know how I feel about this. I guess this reassures that as a South African nation we are far from ready for change. South Africans are far too rebellious, and untameable, we question everything, and find fault in any decision made in a higher power.

As any country, there is this social blob that affects us all - America. Listening to the radio, fashion & television all have that odd influence. I suppose this influence helps me feel a little more comfortable here and in some cases easily relatable.
Maybe my next blog will be a little more positive. I only have this opportunity once in my life. I need to start embracing it a little more and stop worrying about home and punishing myself for the circumstances and outcomes of events back in South Africa.

What will happen to me after three months time?

Mamma Africa

Africa: The birthplace of mankind; a land filled with rich soil, our homeland is blessed with minerals, resources and endless breath taking scenic beauty.
Although all of this ethnicity comes at a price...
Living in Africa has its bad days; heartbreaking poverty, ruthless crime and bitter racism. We have a history of battle and as any other land on the planet, bloodshed.

Africa is the shadow of the world, we soak up the worlds idea of the perfect 'image' and try to reinvent it. Our creativity thrives from the rustic environment we live in, our uniqueness grown from the cold shoulder the world has shown us.
Where does this leave us? A confused era.
People are closed mined, cultures mixed and ages confused. We are the land of the lost... We are the orphans of the world. I do not belong to any country in Europe, even though my blood dates back to that, even if I were to travel, would they accept me? Would that be home?

No - Africa is MY home.
We are cluttered with political out cries, and no action. People choose to live up to the image portrayed in the media, they hide behind their 6foot concrete walls, ignore the issues of our land, they fill their empty souls with material objects and fill their heartless minds with their own greed. They choose to ignore the controversies we face, they choose to life a life of self worth and self destruction!
What about the poor health care, the AIDS pandemic, the Rhino slaughtering, the murders and raping of infants!? When is enough enough? When you say it is enough.

My heart breaks for you, oh Africa! She is in dire need of saving. Her future lies in our hands, if we don't change now, she can not change. If we do not
action our beliefs into tomorrow our hope for our rustic and raw land weighs low. She might loose everything.
We will loose everything.

If I ever had to leave home, would my heavy heart travel with me? Would I ever leave my compassion behind? How would I ever get over the heartache of Mamma Africa - my home?

 

Here is a quote from a speech our President Thabo Mbeki made a few years ago, enjoy! :)

I am an African.
I owe my being to the hills and the valleys, the mountains and the glades, the rivers, the deserts, the trees, the flowers, the seas and the ever-changing seasons that define the face of our native land.
My body has frozen in our frosts and in our latter day snows. It has thawed in the warmth of our sunshine and melted in the heat of the midday sun. The crack and the rumble of the summer thunders, lashed by startling lightning, have been a cause both of trembling and of hope.
The fragrances of nature have been as pleasant to us as the sight of the wild blooms of the citizens of the veld.
The dramatic shapes of the Drakensberg, the soil-coloured waters of the Lekoa, iGqili noThukela, and the sands of the Kgalagadi, have all been panels of the set on the natural stage on which we act out the foolish deeds of the theatre of our day.
At times, and in fear, I have wondered whether I should concede equal citizenship of our country to the leopard and the lion, the elephant and the springbok, the hyena, the black mamba and the pestilential mosquito.
A human presence among all these, a feature on the face of our native land thus defined, I know that none dare challenge me when I say - I am an African!

Tinky & Skye

This blog is about the two most important little creatures in my life. My dogs - Tinky and Skye.

The journey begun when I found her and her brother at a pet store by a shopping mall in the west of Johannesburg. They were so tiny, and could literally 'just-just' fit in my hand... All warm and snug, I knew I had to take them home!
Tinky and Skye are quite a mixed breed of dog... They have Dalmatian, Labrador and Jack Russel. These breed are all beautiful, but also known to be very VERY naughty!


Tinky is a cheeky little girl. I named her after my favourite cake; Tinky's. They are usually soft and sweet! And once you have one, you can’t stop! :)
Tinky is a black coated dog; she has white little paws and a white spot on the tip of her tail with hazel brown eyes... She is truly beautiful! As any mother raves on about their children, my girl is extremely intelligent, and some people say we are emotionally connected. Tinky is a kind, loving girl... We nick name her the "Mamma's" because she has such a caring nature about her.
 
Oooh, and then there's the boy! My dear Boy, Skye. There is not a person I have met that does not love this dog. He is massive; you can definitively see the Dalmatian breed in his coat by all little black spots everywhere!
He is a huge dog, so big that if he stands on his two back feet he actually towers over you with his two front paws. Skye doesn't think he is a big dog though... He has quite a bad image about himself. As a puppy whenever we used to scold him, he would pee all over himself and cower away. I found this odd, because we were very gentle when disciplining them.
Whenever you speak to Skye, or pat him, his lips move up, almost as if he was actually smiling. He also loves water, and whenever it rains you find him joyfully running around the garden having the time of his life.
My favorite thing in the world is giving Skye a hug. He gives the best hugs (even better than my mom - he he) He has the most free spirited nature, but his loyalty is something I admire most about him
Through the years, we have tried our best not to give them hidings, but instead raise our voices when they were naughty, and man... where they naughty?!!
Chewing shoes, ripping washing off the lines, digginh holes in the garden & grabbing food off the kitchen counter... This is just scraping the top of the barrel.
But as time passed, our bond between each other grew... Grown to such a degree that I only have to look at them for them to understand what I am saying.
I cannot explain the love I have for them... a love I cannot give anyone except them.
 
The two dogs are the best of friends, they are always playing together, eating together and laying together. I have never met such good friends before...
You know... In my opinion there is so much we can learn from these little animals. The smallest things give them joy, their little hearts are so forgiving & loving. They live every moment to the fullest and their loyalty never lets them down.
When someone calls another a "dog" I get quite upset! There are so many admirable traits a dog has that man will never posses once in his life! 


Not too long ago, my incredible kitty, Stormy passed away. He got terribly ill.
The image of his sick face and coughing haunts me to this day. There is nothing more dreadful than a sick animal, never mind your own.
I miss his little presence in my house, on my bed, by my feet.
Whenever Stormy was around, he gave me such comfort. He always spoke to me (meowed) and whenever I spoke to him, he would answer. I have never met an animal with such a wild streak; he had a strong personality and mind, but above all an untameable heart - I wish the illness he got could’ve been cured by the strong spirit he had.
Losing him was one of the hardest things I have had happen to me in a long time. I still think of him, I still cry about him, sometimes I can hear his meowing in the distance... I wish he could come back to me. I would do anything to hug him again, or pour him some milk in a tea cup like I always did.
Sadly all I have now are my memories of this little animal that blessed my life for such a short period. He saved me from my heartache, he listened to all my secrets, he witnessed all my life; good moments & bad ones too... Friends; making dinner, laying in the bath, caressing Scott...

I love you Stormy and I always will, this will always hurt because I always think of you and miss you. The tears are streaming down my face as I write this!:(
It is never easy to say good bye.

An animal’s love is so pure. With the sad excuse we call our lives, I believe we don’t make enough time for the animals in our lives. We forget that they don’t live forever...

How could I ever doubt my significance on this planet? I have the two most beautiful doggies at home, they have been put in my life for me, and I for them. They are my little treasures. I adore them so much, and cannot imagine my life without their love and comfort. I can only imagine how lonely I would be without them...