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Saying good bye is never easy... It's as if you are asking for the change to enter your life. It is the kind of change you dream and seek of; you are not ready for it, but desire to have it every day. I am in the midst of that change; and within that, I still feel a certain amount of uncertainty and very little satisfaction. The aching I have had in my heart has not gone away since I have left; instead it has grown into something with a massive amount of depth.
How can I expect change, if I cannot change my own ways?
Scott and I at the airport |
Weslee and I at the airport - drugged on tranquilizers - LOL! |
Walking along Mjosa fjord - 10pm at night |
Coming back to Norway a second time
has made me long for home like I have never before. It must be the language - the ambiance, the smell or weather? Feeling homesick is literally like feeling ill, my tummy is in
a constant knot and I feel like I could punch anyone who comes near me! Maybe I feel fury towards the contrast of our lands. I had this conception that people around here have
very little knowledge of suffering... Or do they?
Yesterday, I happened to stumble upon a few young Norwegians having a drink in the park. They reminded me of myself a few years ago; the one girl had scars all the way up her arms from mutilating herself... I felt confused, why would someone mutilate themselves in a place where everything seems so simple? My only answer is: the human condition.
Are we ever truly happy in this life - we tend to look for suffering, a reason to punish ourselves. For example drugs are pleasure with terrible consequences - the type of consequences we are fully aware of.
But enough about my yapping on the social observations and comparisons I
have made thus far. I would easily say I have had a wonderful time in Norway.
People are friendly, much friendlier than what I had expected. They are
curious, and each of them has an interesting fact to share in conversation.
This must be a Nordic charm that they all have in common.
May + Bjorn Erik |
Seeing Kim-Erik and his family again has been delightful. When spending
time together it is as if the time had never even passed. They have all been
kind and helpful... I wonder if I will have the opportunity to pass the
hospitality and love to them too one day.
Norwegian food is delicious, I eat two ice creams at a time, the summer is
hot, and Norwegians all take the time to sit outside and soak up the sunshine,
they swim and laugh at the simplest things, making everyday a pleasure.
I find it odd that Norwegians are so cautious with everything, when driving,
walking or locking up their homes, naturally you would think in the safest part
of the world, those things wouldn’t be a concern... Maybe that is why we have
problems in South Africa, people are too carefree... Everything in Norway closes early, and if not closed it is really quiet. There are no real ques leading to tellers, or waiting to be seated at a dinner table.
There are no maids or gardeners around here, and having one is seen to be lazy. We are spoilt in South Africa, all the services that are offered to us in order to enhance job creation for our population. This is unnecessary in Norway since the government give a grant to those whom are unemployed, and the population that are employed earn quite decent salaries.
Something else I find quite odd about Norway is the fashion
and trends in store. Many of our merchandise are brilliantly marketed in SA...
Millions are spent on selling a product, either they are sold through tons of
research or are politically and racially branded. With the rich history of
Norway, I would’ve have believed that the marketing would have been cultivated
via this stepping stone. Seems I would have been wrong, Norwegians do not
linger on the past.
What else about Norway... Hmm. I love how people behind the counters talk to me in Norwegian and I respond in English. Their faces are priceless, maybe its because they cannot identify where I am from with my unusual accent.
Norwegians spend a lot of time together - socially. I struggle with this because I am quite a loner - I am sitting in a room alone typing this while others sit downstairs chatting. I think coming from South Africa, we isolate ourselves more than usual, unless that could only be me? I am aware that I am a little awkward in social situations.
There is quite a sense of equality in Norway, this would be the perfect South Africa, I don’t know how I feel about this. I guess this reassures that as a South African nation we are far from ready for change. South Africans are far too rebellious, and untameable, we question everything, and find fault in any decision made in a higher power.
Maybe my next blog will be a little more positive. I only have this opportunity once in my life. I need to start embracing it a little more and stop worrying about home and punishing myself for the circumstances and outcomes of events back in South Africa.
What will happen to me after three months time?
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